Valuing those around you – appreciating the things they do for you, the things they say, who they are as a person – is often much easier than valuing yourself. Many of us struggle to appreciate the things that make us great, and the things we have, for fear of coming across as too cocky, or as if we’re bragging. It’s time to stop worrying about what others think of us for valuing ourselves; it’s time to have the courage to value yourself.
When I mention bravery, you’re probably thinking of heroic deeds like running into a burning building to save someone, or rescuing someone from drowning. However, courage isn’t just big acts – even something small like saying “no” to your boss when they ask you to add too much extra to your workload is an act of bravery. Valuing yourself enough to look after your best interests is the kind of courage I want to help everyone have!
Here are some common scenarios where having the courage to value yourself will lead to a better outcome for you:
Staying in a job or career you dislike, purely for the money.
Keeping relationships (romantic or friendly) even though they are negative and giving you nothing back, only taking.
Worrying more about being a people-pleaser and saying “yes” to everything, no matter how overwhelmed you get.
Comparing your life to others.
Settling for less than you deserve in any circumstance will leave you unfulfilled and unable to reach your full potential. Stop wondering if there’s something better – you’ll never know if you don’t take that leap!
“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.” ― C.G. Jung
Taking the first step is hard, but as I’ve written about in my blogs 7 Ways to Overcome Fear and The Brain and Overcoming Fear, the most effective way to get over your fear – whether it’s of saying “no”, or of being alone (which is why you prefer bad company over none) – is just doing it. The more you do something, the less intimidating it becomes. I wish I had an easier answer for you, but that old saying is true! Nothing worth having comes easy!
Take a look in the mirror and find the courage to tell yourself these things:
I deserve to be happy.
I deserve the best.
I am a valuable part of many peoples’ lives.
I have so much to offer.
I am me. Nobody else is me, so why compare myself to others?
I love mantras, and repeating the ones above as often as you can will help you start to see your value. The more you repeat them, the more you believe them – and you’ll find the courage that comes from valuing yourself will flow. True courage is knowing your own value, believing in it, and showing others that you know your value as well. Those who can admit when they can’t take on any more work, need to step back from a toxic relationship, or that something else just isn’t working for them, are the ones who earn the most respect – and they’re much happier, too! What do you value about yourself? I’d love to hear!
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Sonia’s Books – Leadership Attitude and Jus Rock It! Grab them HERE.
Sonia McDonald believes we should lead with kindness, from the heart, doing rather than telling and is known for her mantra ‘Just lead’. She leads by example in all these areas and through her one on one practical coaching, leadership training for teams and organizations encourages others to do the same. Sonia has helped hundreds of people on their leadership journey to become the best version of themselves and in turn, inspire and bring out the best in others.
For more than 25 years, Sonia has been on the front lines of HR. She has held leadership positions worldwide and through experience, research and study come to realize what it takes to be a truly great leader.
Sonia has an ability to speak bravely and authentically about her own development as a leader, personal and career challenges in a way which resonates with her audience. She is recognized as a LinkedIn influencer and has become an in-demand keynote speaker, starts important conversations.
She is an award-winning published author and writes regularly for publications such as The Australian, HRD Magazine, Smart Healthy Women and Women’s Business Media. Sonia has become recognised for her commentary around the topic of leadership, developing work-life balance, championing the up and coming leaders of tomorrow and advocating for women in business and male-dominated industries.
Sonia will give you peace of mind when booking a speaker. She is a proven world-class professional speaker with the skills to “rock an audience”. Her energy, empathy, kindness, sensitivity, and humor will enhance any event she appears.